eg. How do you approach an STD test with a new partner?

Can you live with gonorrhea for years?

Asked by on October 26, 2018

Hi,

First off: I’m a gay male, age 25, 5’5″, weight 130lbs, no previous history of STDs or major medical problems, no medications.

Long story short, my boyfriend (male, 25, 170?lbs, 6ft, no previous STDs, etc.) was diagnosed with gonorrhea after experiencing a discharge from his urethra. Originally was thought to be a UTI but was misdiagnosed. Immediately after we found out I went to the doctor to get tested and am still waiting results. Should hear by tomorrow or the next and will update.

We do not have an open relationship, have been dating for 1 year and were both tested for all STDs at the beginning of our relationship with clean results all around. Negative on gonorrhea. I’ve seen his report and he’s seen mine. We both had not had sex for at least 5 months prior to starting our relationship or having this test, and have had very tame sexual histories.

I am aware of the obvious solution but ask you to put that aside. I trust my boyfriend completely and understand the implications of my partner getting an STD out of the blue.

First, I’d like to know how likely is a false negative in a gonorrhea test.

Second, I’d like to know if it is possible to harbor gonorrhea without showing symptoms, or even while showing symptoms, for years before it becomes apparent or chronic.

I have a theory that I am the one originally infected with gonorrhea by a previous unfaithful partner 5 years ago (unconfirmed if he had it). I have had rectal pain, irritation and itching periodically that entire period and wrote it off to hemorrhoids or fissures that went away and came back off and on. Upon this turn of events I learned that can be a side effect of gonorrhea. Have I been living with it the entire time, was it missed on my previous STD test, and could I have infected my partner?

I know it seems unlikely but I would like to understand all possibilities. My attempts to talk to a doctor in person about this were unsuccessful. (I am a university student and the health center doctors are very hurried and I’m sure experience STDs and infidelity enough to assume another case is the same as the last.)

Thanks very much for your help!

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