eg. How do you approach an STD test with a new partner?

How do you approach an STD test with a new partner?

Asked by on January 12, 2014

I am very heath conscience about my health and was wondering next time I find a girl and we want to become intimate, how do you approach her/ask if she would partake in an STD test – mutually of course, I would feel like a dick i just asked her to take one.

Is this even done these days?
Would it be insulting?




deputy dawg

March 11, 2008 at 3:35 pm

why would you feel like a are only trying to protect yourself...tell her you are going to take one with her....she should respect that..if not then she has no respect for you or herself and if thats the case then you should not be with her anyway..


Gumdrop Girl  

March 11, 2008 at 3:49 pm

Get tested together and plan a date around it. Both of you go to the clinic, get tested, then go out for lunch at a nice restaurant afterwards. That will give you incentive to spend time together and such. Tell her you care about her health as well as your own, so you want to make sure BOTH of you are clear of infections. Also, you should both talk about your plans for birth control, and discuss what to do in case something does go wrong.



March 11, 2008 at 3:52 pm

Good for you!!! If you are mature enough to be having sex then it is critical that you are mature enough to take care of yourself. I would not be insulted if my partner asked me and I would certainly agree to it.



March 11, 2008 at 3:58 pm

Good for you. If she’s the sort of partner you’re looking for it’ll save her the bother of asking you. STD’s are rife and you’re right to be cautious. If she’s got nothing to hide then it won’t be a problem. Just ask her and tell her you’ll go and be tested too. There is no problem of ‘feeling like a dick’. It’s the right thing to do for you both. Good luck, there should be more men like you around; she’s got herself a diamond. If she says no then so be it and move on.



March 11, 2008 at 4:12 pm

dude go for it! its best for u and alerts her if she happens to have something!!!



March 11, 2008 at 4:21 pm

I don’t know how often its done, but I always asked every guy I ever dated if he had been tested for AIDS. I never asked about other stuff, but that’s just because I was less concerned about other stuff.

How did I approach them? I told them that, before we had sex, we should have a conversation about STD’s. I asked if they had ever had one. I said that I had been tested for HIV, and asked if they had ever been tested. I told them about any STD’s that I’d had, and how they were gone now. And the way that I asked, I made it clear that I was not going to judge them, no matter what answer they gave.

If people feel comfortable that you aren’t going to judge them, or get all demanding, then it is much easier for them to open up. I actually dated a guy who had herpes, and he seemed so relieved when I asked him – because then HE didn’t need to figure out when to tell me. I asked – so it was okay to answer.

Unless, of course, you are going to judge them or get demanding. In which case I’m sort of at a loss.

Good question.


Siva G  

March 11, 2008 at 4:35 pm

sometime yes

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